Sometimes you just need to laugh

its been a while

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 00:51:37 GMT

so i havent written in forever. life right now is a mess. everything thats goin on in the middle east hit me hard this time. i mean its been goin on for years but i guess its cuz i have people on both sides. one of my closest friends is from israel and just went back the other day. i have family livin in lebanon n syria. im constantly being stuck in the middle of every situation. hasnt there been enough innocent lives murdered in the name of what? i dont see a reason for all this blood shed. there isnt a reason, there never is to take a life, something so precious. to be lost over...nothing. it seems like life isnt worth a thing anymore. were in a new age where a second not connected to the internet is stressful. but yet theres still fighting. both sides has its wrongs and rights, but is it worth the murders? people losing their homes? families? losing thousands of years of artifacts? when is it enough?

its funny how things end up

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 06:04:54 GMT

life likes to play these tricks on me... i thought i could have found someone to make me happy...but i was wrong like usual...but funny thing is im ok with it...we werent really much of anything, just friends with posibilities i guess you can say.

i move back to school on tues, it came so fast..these past 3 weeks have been so much fun, i got to pretend i was in my own apartment livin on my own with my brother of course...haha i liked it, it just proved to me that when i graduate i need my own place..well thats if i have a job i cant afford somethin without a job!! my parents come back mon, we bought them an oven cuz they needed a new one so they are gonna be surprised when they come and see it!! other than men problems im doin good...ive lost 10 pounds since i came home, so i figured id do this whole weight loss thing slowly only cuz im not willin to give up all the foods i like, but i do love walkin and runnin my 4 miles almost everyday except my legs are kickin my ass oh well its gonna be worth it in the end!

oh boy

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 01:50:22 GMT

so its july 31st, and its kinda cold...lol what kind of summer is this...so in 2 days my parents are leavin for 3 weeks im really excited. they never go anywhere, so for once they are gonna leave us and go...gonna be havin some fun in the next 3 weeks :)

....

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 03:40:40 GMT

loneliness has been my emotion for a long time... so i sit here tryin to figure out what ive done wrong, i cant figure it out. ive opened up a lot more than before. Ive tried new things, but ill never try to be someone im not. thats one thing im never gonna change is who i am for someone. i need an escape, i need to get out of my usual life, need to explore new places, find new people. i just dont want to feel this feeling anymore. everytime i think ive found someone, it just ends up in disappointment. i dont know what to do anymore. i stopped lookin and they found me, but it never works, i think im doomed to be alone forever....at least ill always have my friends in the end....thats one thing to cherish is my friendships with people....

Sun, 08 May 2005 02:24:49 GMT

home just sounds so good by the day...I cant wait to get back to my wooney ways! so my plans for the summer: work my ass off, go runnin twice a day, hang out with all my friends, visit danny!! go with danielle on vaca, fall in love!! haha fallin in love would be amazin but whatever im chill wit anything!!

Tue, 03 May 2005 05:04:15 GMT

its funny how the people you trust the most seem to be the ones that hurt you the most...ya im included....it sucks im just glad im going home soon....away from it all....

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 04:10:10 GMT

theres just so much to do, but not enough time...

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 23:57:00 GMT

why do i always wish i were someone different? i want to be more outspoken, who knows why im not...

i just need the sunshine to warm my spirit up...

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 22:16:47 GMT

so i learned something last night, Ive changed a lot since high school. Im more open and less shy, I know I'm still shy, but not as usuall.

So last night (St. Patrick's Day) even though the real meaning of the holiday isnt for drinking and what not, me danielle ari and tara were suppose to go to the bar and meet up with my cousin and jess. So i call jakki around 8ish and shes like well me and jess are laying down now and we dont really feel good. I was so sad, and i was like ok thats fine whatever. I had to stop by my room to get something, I walk in see danielle sittin at my computer and there was a girl standing over her. I looked at her and it didnt even click that it was my cousin until like 5 seconds later, haha of course being the girl that I am, i started to scream..haha i love surprises. haha!! so we go to bar 1 real sketch but oh well, we walk in and there were so many wooney guys there...haha most that i graduated with and stuff..haha had so much fun, ari almost got in a fight, got followed home, and didnt go to bed till like 4... so much fun, cant wait till the next time!!

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 16:31:42 GMT

happy st. patrick's day!

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 03:24:20 GMT

This is my favorite poem by an old friend....

What If
What if by a chance
your friendships were
taken away from you
but you meet that one special girl
and by chance she wants you

What if she wants to dance
or she wants to be held
but at the same time she is afraid
that a friend of hers has held your heart

What if you dont take that chance
and let it slip out of your reach

What if I told you that
I took that chance
What If

missin that friend...

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 01:43:25 GMT

at the end of the night, i still dream of you

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 15:41:58 GMT

so im sitting here at work. i had to drive from wooney to bristol to sit around, watch tv and do nothing! best job ever. even though i walked in and there were dishes in the sink...haha oh well..i love this job its the best!! so im home for spring break! wish i were going somewhere but got no money! joy!! but of course like every vacation, im sick :( it seems that when im at school and i have lots of stuff to do i dont get sick even though everyone around me was sick...my body just doesnt allow me cuz im never slowed down, im always on the move. but the second i have nothing to do my body's like fu your gettin sick now. not to mention yesterday i took the PPST or Praxis 1 test...stupid standandized testing for becoming a teacher...it reminded me of the SAT's and ACT's whats funny is that in my education classes they taught me how these tests are nothing but yet i have to take them...haha whatever hopefully i did good cuz i paid 130 bucks for the test...

peace

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 06:37:39 GMT

Ive never realized how much I want to do with my life. I want to accomplish so much. I want to be so many things. I know the path Im going on right now is perfect for me. But theres so much more that I want to do. I dont really let people into my dreams, mostly because of the fear of being crushed. but for some reason tonight I feel like sharing.

I want to be a writer, I want to write childrens stories. I want to write short stories, I want to go on a book tour and see the world!

I want to travel. I want to go to all over the world. I want to discover the different cultures. I want to see how it feels to be in the rainforest. I want to feel the desert underneath my feet. I want to watch the sunset in figi.

I want to be famous. I want to share this dream with my cousin. She wants to be an actress, I want to be a producer. I want to produce music, shows, anything.

I want to get over my fears, I want to jump off a bridge (with cords of course). I want to feel like im flying into nothing. Feel the warm air flowing through my hair, my eyes tearing with excitement.

I want to climb a mountain. Feel the atmosphere at the highest point. Pretend Im on a cloud in the sky. Floating so lightly in the sky above.

I want to discover a part of me that Ive never known. I want to sing at the top of my lungs,and make the world listen.

I want all these dreams to come true. I believe I can. Do you believe?

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 06:28:38 GMT

best thing in life is being truely happy!! thanks sarah for all your wisdom! it means a lot to me!

so i was sittin at the bball game with liz and i look over behind the other teams players, i was actually looking at a baby when i looked at the 3 girls sitting directly behind the players...it was laura, courtney and kate!! so excited! a little bit of wooney at rwu!! haha gotta love the wooney chicks!! hahahaha but still lovin my bham girsl, cuz without ya's id never have crazy ass stories!!

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 05:28:36 GMT

i wish there was a way to make the past disappear. I dwell way too much in it. There are things that a person will never share, but by not sharing, your hurting yourself even more. every person has one secret they just dont want to remember. its funny how your memory of the past plays a key factor in the future....

Steph--hope everything goes well!!

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 06:25:41 GMT

so its been forever it seems. not in much of a writing mood, and ive been really busy...

still alive...still wondering....

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 02:52:18 GMT

appreciate what you have, some people dont have it, and some lose everything in seconds...

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 18:19:57 GMT

i havent had the time to write, well i prob did have time, i was just lazy...haha well my bday was good only cuz of jess and jakki! the morning of my bday my mom woke me up yelling at me, for no reason at all...so that made being 20 suck...but the night before (jan 15) me jakki and jess went to applebees for desert and they had the staff come sing...of course its traditional..haha then we went and saw coach carter, good movie! then on sunday night i went over to jakkis moms so jakki and jess could give me my present (which was a guess? purse, a xoxo belt and a boston hat!!) i loved my presents so much!! and they made me a ghetto cake!! just as i like it!! thanks girls!!

i moved back to school the 17th and it felt so good to be back! on that tuesday the girls had a surprise bday party for me and my roomie! hehe ari and tara decorated their room with streamers and a long ass poster thingy with me and chris's pics on it! so much fun!! haha love ya girls!!

this weekend was so much fun! met new people! always fun!!!

schools not that bad, im actually excited for all my classes, i know 2 of my teachers cuz i had them before so its all good! i have so much work to do and i still have to get some books, its crazy!! oh well thats life!

we had so much snow! classes were cancelled !!Yay for snowdays!! haha havent had one in a long time,i dont think they belived in them in high school...oh well!

this semester should be fun!!

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 05:02:49 GMT

i just want to be your friend again...

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 04:27:50 GMT

today i turned 20! i wish i could write about how awesome it was...but that would be lying. last night (sat) me jakki and jess went to applebees had desert, they had the staff do their bday thingy, haha i look over to the table next to us the guys starin right at me...i turned bright red..lol oh well it was fun then we went to see coach carter, really good movie, hot actors (i had to be a girl for a second..lol) anyways that was an awesome time...

then sunday came...my mom wakes me up at 745 yellin at me that we are going to be late for church, i dont know what really happened but lets just say crying isnt the best way to start a birthday. so we left for church then when we gave a sign of peace (which means you shake hands or give a kiss on the cheek with the people next to you) well when my mom did that she said happy bday...and of course i started to cry...i was so pissed still...and of course when i went to the bathroom, connie whose in my moms arabic class saw me with tears in my eyes...after church we chilled for an hour in the hall i got to see andrea! tom! glenn! ilaura! marie! and a bunch of other people...that at least made me happy...we went to bjs got stuff for school...i think the reason my mom was pissed at me was i didnt want to go out to eat...instead i wanted to cook dinner for everyone. its my bday, i really didnt want my parents to spend like 100 bucks on dinner when i didnt want to eat out...so we came back home and i made chicken and brocoli, rice and pasta and sauce...it was my first real time cooking..haha well i had help from my bro...lol it actually didnt come out that bad...pretty impressed with myself!

later on i went to jakkis moms to open my present with her and jess...they made me a ghetto cake cause sat i was like i cant seem to get away from my ghettoness..haha the cake was awesome! it said happy bday GP!! haha i love them girls! they got me a redsox hat! a xoxo belt..and the best thing a guess? purse!!! haha they are some sneaky girls! jess made this thing up about how she saw a guess purse she liked at filenes and she tried getting me to explain what the purse i wanted looked like...haha then jakki made me look at pics cuz she was like jess doesnt want to get the purse that you want so what was it like...so they got me it!! haha that was the best part of my bday! i can always count on my girls to make me happy!

thanks for all the birthday wishes....

oh one more thing my aunt and uncle called my parents to see what we were doing...but never wished me a happy birthday, and yes they knew it was my bday cuz the weekend before there was a dinner at my house and they brought a cake wanting my mom to put candels on it for my bday knowing it was the weekend after....how messed up...lol

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 04:09:02 GMT

3 days...its really just another number...but its exciting in a way....i wont ever be viewed as a teenager anymore..haha and it means theres only 1 more year till im 21!!

im excited for tomorrow...well im also sad, kellys havin a farwell party cuz shes going to Italy..lucky her! i wish we all stayed in touch a lot more than we have...who knows tomorrow may be new beginnings!!

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 04:13:55 GMT

my birthdays sunday, and ive realized i havent done much in my life thats actually worth anything. i want to do so many things, but i dont...i want to go help build a house, spend a month in another country helpin the sick, i want to do something with my life. my brothers friend one of them is in indiana for a job..and another is in alaska for this huge volunteer job he got. i want to do something..i really would love to go student teach in england, but im not sure if i can actually do it..i want to try so hard..but it sucks cuz im doing a double major. i would love to move to england for a year and be a nanny or something....but those dreams involve so much...right now i have one dream actually its one goal...is lose weight...i was doing good until the sun went away...haha ive been told by many people im happier when the suns out...

maybe one day my dreams and goals will all come true...

hell ya to reuions!!

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 03:22:54 GMT

Im feeling a lot better than my last update...that was a bad night...i never wrote about friday night!!! I had so much fun...So me jamie, ash, ari and tara went to danielles house just to get together since we missed each other so much...JENNIE AND CHRISTINA came up too!! missed ya girls so much!! anyways so danielles mom rented us a limo! for danielles bday! haha so we all got dressed up to go to remis...lol yea remis...haha ari and tara bein the slick girls they are brought some captain in the limo and we made some rum and cokes for the ride!! got to remi's...danielle (by the way real proud of ya) was double fistin all night..lol but of course dropped one beer right on the dance floor and we all acted like she didnt do it..lol it was the first night that we all got shitty together at a club cuz theres usually one thats the dd...(drink responsibly kids!) We had so much fun!! thanks girls for an awesome night!! cant wait to be back at RDUBS with yas!!

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 04:23:23 GMT

i havent cried in so long...i cant really remember when i last did....well tonight i did...i dont know what happened...ive done so good for so long, but lately it just sucks. im starting to hate myself once again, i dont know where it all went wrong. it seems like every moment in my life just blew up in my face, theres just so much that i havent delt with that is still in my mind. i dont know how to make it stop...i just want to leave....